THE TREND IS TO REPEAT, THE TREND IS TO REPEAT, THE TREND...
by Paul Rosenblum

Our fascination with the box knows no bounds.

Network television does some strange things. In the 1960's, they beamed James T. Kirk up one time too many - and he was permanently beamed down and out. The original Star Trek was a thought-provoking show, obviously building its audience slowly. It's just that the network didn't have the patience for it. They wanted instant ratings, and instant profit. Only after NBC canceled Star Trek, and it went into syndication on local stations all around the country, did it flourish into the franchise that it is today. Science Fiction traditionally doesn't get very high ratings on television - with the current exception of The-X Files, and past exceptions such as The Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits.

Prime time has always been competitive, the networks vying for ratings in any way they can, even if they have to repeat shows and be much less innovative. There once was a time when the television season started in September. Approximately twenty-four episodes later, somewhere near the end of March or beginning of April (less Thanksgiving and Christmas specials), the season was over, with the rest of the time for repeats of those same episodes. Compare now, when The X-Files' season premiere airs in November of 1999, and the last time I saw four brand new Ally McBeal episodes in a row was during sweeps. I don't remember seeing Mission: Impossible or Get Smart more than once a week, unless there was a permanent schedule change. Then, in the 1970's, there came (cue Twilight Zone theme) cable. Cable television changed the way the networks designed, programmed and syndicated their shows. Rather than syndication in the daytime and seven to eight p.m. time slot on local broadcast stations, cable television opened up lots of possibilities for repeats at any hour of any day.

It occurred to me the other day that although we have more cable television networks now than several years ago, we are beginning to see less programming and more cloning. "All these channels and nothing to watch" has never been more true. Is American television running out of ideas? Or are they just looking for sure fire hits, bigger profit margins and more moneymakers for themselves? Or are they just cashing in on what they thought could be the latest trend? In the 50's, there was a game show trend, in the 60's, a detective show trend, and in the 70's, a prime time soap opera trend. Now, we seem to have a prime time news magazine trend and a game show trend to help take us into the 21st century. At this rate, some shows might run a full twenty-four episode season in just over two months. Let me give you some examples.

Dateline NBC is on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Friday nights. 60 Minutes is on Sundays and Tuesdays (60 Minutes II). 20/20 is on Thursday and Friday evenings. Fox is so much in need of ratings that they air every hit or potential hit (i.e. Malcolm in the Middle) more than once a week. That 70's Show is on Fox Monday nights at eight p.m., followed by a repeat episode from its first season. Fox also tried a half-hour version of Ally McBeal, which didn't work at all. NBC has a Law and Order spin-off called Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, with the same week's episode running on the USA network a few days after, as ABC did with Once and Again. During the first week of March, Fox had several episodes of the game show Greed: The Series on air to put their two cents in -- pardon the pun.

NBC, with help from its own cable network, MSNBC, does one better. They recycle segments from Dateline NBC, introducing them with newly shot Stone Phillips intros and trying to hide the deception by dressing Phillips in casual, non-network clothes. Doesn't fool me. Shame on NBC. And Time and Again is a rehash of interviews already taped for The Today Show, mostly, although other shows are used.

ABC has made two moves this year in their prime time schedule that disturb me a little bit. First, they took a program called Whose Line is it Anyway? from England (which Comedy Central runs nightly) Americanized it, and run it not once a week, but two full half-hour shows in a one-hour time slot. Inexpensive to produce, and a potential moneymaker for the network. And then, the king of 'em all -- Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? During November sweeps last year, Millionaire premiered to great ratings. By the end of its few weeks run, you knew it would be back for more. Okay. Maybe we?re pretty healed from the game show scandals of the 1950's. Maybe enough people saw the movie Quiz Show and feel ready to go on. Okay. Fine. Sunday nights, Tuesday nights, Wednesday nights and Thursday nights, Regis Philbin has a 5-year contract with ABC to do this show. You can play this game on the Internet or CD-ROM or watch it four (yes, four) times a week on TV. Just the thought of it tires me and bores me - and yes, that's my final answer. Since cable television's monthly fees are going up every day, more and more of us need to be millionaires just to pay the bill. Do people watch this show fantasizing? Or is it those silk ties that Reeg wears? Do I watch this show more than once a week? No. I think not. There's a saying in the performing business that says, "Leave 'em wanting more." After five years of Reeg, people will want more Bonanza, not Millionaire. Mary Tyler Moore went off the air before her ratings went downhill and left at the top of that hill. Smart. The X-Files will leave the air before a blood-sucking monster eats Scully and Mulder. Wants to Be a Millionaire? will be used and broadcast to death. The phrase that the show has produced, "Is that your final answer?" is used in everyday language. I?ve even seen it on an Ally McBeal show in regular dialog. It will broadcast more and more, and won't go off the air until the viewers stop watching it. Hey, maybe you can go on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? then switch to Fox and be a contestant on Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire and live happily ever after. Not.

My submission: A schedule for NBC, CBS, ABC and FOX, if they combine to make one real powerful squawk box network. Sorry UPN and the WB -- I'll include you when you figure out what audience you want and get some people watching.

Now, seriously, I do watch Regis sometimes -- when I want to feel stupid -- the same reason I watch Jeopardy. You know - those days where the self-esteem is so low that you just give up and want to sink lower lower into the "Stupid Zone."

Okay, NBC, FOX, CBS and ABC. What's the next trend in TV shows? Ahh...maybe infomercials on prime time, network television? The purpose, in my opinion, of the cable television networks, such as The Game Show Channel is to show (get ready for this) - game shows. Let's put all the game shows on that channel, and put some meaningful TV on the broadcast networks. Who am I kidding? It'll never, never, happen.

And that's my final answer .

Paul Rosenblum's father co-produced "The Patty Duke Show." Paul is writing a book for computer beginners who have anxiety about PC's.

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