So the episode opens and Kevin is spouting off some garbage about how it sucks that they will have to start work soon. Oh poor baby. But really, the shows original concept wasn't coined The Real World for nothing. So while the roommates contemplate what their jobs may be (throwing out some ridiculous ideas I may add), Mike thinks it would be funny to create a message that includes a false job description. The idea itself is surprisingly clever but when he makes up the weak, never in a million years proposal from the fictitious Big Roy's Waste Transportation, the jig is up. Mike still finds his prank to be hysterical. The roommates on the other hand barely crack smiles.

Meanwhile Mike lets us in on a little deal between him and Rachel all in the name of musical appreciation. The plan is that for every one of Rachel's concert picks that Mike goes to, she has to go to one of his. The plan seems fair enough. The only problem is that while Mike told us, it seems no one told Rachel. Either that or Rachel knows and she just doesn't care. Personally I vote for the latter.

We see some of the roomies head out to a Rachel concert and Mike, making good on the non-existent deal, tags along. Halfway there however, Rachel disses him outright saying that she never cared if he came anyhow. Wow that's cold. Rubber band Mike (my new name for him) seems hurt but bounces back just as he always does- God love him. Rachel meanwhile half apologizes for what she said to Mike. And when I say half I mean more like a half of a half. The girls rag on Rachel using singsong gibberish like, "Mike and Rachel kissing in a tree." Oh give it a rest already! The more I see of Rachel though the more I decided something. Rachel's the girl in school who wants to be everyone's friend but doesn't want everyone to know that she is. You know the type I mean. So, what I think is that Mike ain't THAT uncool and that Rachel must throw throw him and amicable bone every now and then. So, what I'm saying is Rachel- if you're out there- I got your number honey.

To add fuel to the already rapidly burning fire Mike fancies himself an amateur comedian. The group would tend to take out the word comedian however and just leave it at that. We get to hear bits and pieces of Mike's alleged jokes. To elaborate would be just too sad. The housemates, mainly the evil, evil girls, decide to humor Mike, not the other way around. They begin encouraging him to tell his jokes. This is only so that they can laugh AT him, not WITH him. Of course, Mike mistakes their behavior for acceptance. Don't know why he would considering right after entertaining the ladies Coral dismisses him from the room- and no, I'm not exaggerating.

Mike, like any normal human being berated on a daily basis, calls home for a pep talk. The chick he talks to does just that and if only for a little while, rubber band Mike feels better. He then goes to a Linkin Park concert all by his lonesome and moshes to his heart's content.

The group gets word that their new gig involves working for record company Arista Records. Coral is the first one to announce this and instantly I am perturbed at her holiness. Coral, sweetheart, it's AR- IST- A, not

A-RIST-A. You might think this is a no big deal but when the mistake is uttered by Miss Thing herself you know I am going to be all over it. Although the fact that some members of the house can't even pronounce the company's name, yet get a chance to work there HANDED TO THEM while some of us would cut off our right arm for the opportunity might be what's really bothering me. I don't know. It's a hard call to make.

So the seven schmucks have to create their personal lists of their top five favorite albums to gear up for the first day. The key word here being personal. The roommates of course leave out that part and mock each other about the choices. Ok, so it happened more like they made fun of Mike for making fun of them. But anyone who has watched the show or ever read one of these updates could read between those lines by now.

They arrive at AR- IST- A and watch an introductory video. Most of the house is pumped thinking about their new job, working for whatchamacallit. The majority of the housemates are also huge R&B fans and Arista has a huge piece of that pie. The joke is on them however, when Arista executives inform them that they want to branch out and attempt to capture a rock audience. I find this funny considering they all spent so much time writing and debating those damn lists that don't matter much anyhow. The only one who is happy with this news is rock out Mike.

The executives briefly refer to the mispronunciation of the company name. Then and there I decide that it has got to be even more frustrating to them than it is to me. The head honchos (or more than likely, low men on the totem pole) have individual meetings with all of the roommates and they find out what we already knew. Nicole honestly admits to not being open-minded when it comes to music. Malik takes on the role of chameleon securing the fact that he can fit in anywhere. Kevin name-drops that he has radio experience. Rachel confesses to being more of an emo/poppy punk fan. Coral talks about R&B but is also sly enough to make it sound like something they wanted to hear. Upon meeting Mike the executives nod their heads with enthusiasm because, after all, Mike represents the audience they are going for. Finally there's Lori who is the most nervous and anxious, but tries nonchalantly to throw her singing talent in all the while surpressing the urge to shout, "Fame! Baby, remember my name!"

The record executives talk things over and break the happy seven up in to two teams. Each team will be responsible for recruiting a focus group to test out this new fangled rock that seems to be all the rage with kids these days. On one team there's Kevin, Rachel, Malik and Nicole. On the other, Mike, Coral and Rachel. And if you're anything like me you're thinking, ok, just exactly who from Bunim and Murray paid off Arista to put arch-enemies Coral and Mike on the same team? If you're also like me you're already feeling bad for rubber band Mike anticipating his hard, hard rock adventures.

Janet Branagan is a freelance writer and pop culture addict from New Jersey.

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