Malik is talking to Mike about his excitement for his thing with Jisela. Mike tells the camera, "Jisela is definitely the person for him." Well, if Mike said so than it MUST be true.

The crew gets an invitation to go to the Hamptons. Coral says, "All I know about the Hamptons is that rich people live there and where rich people live, that means it's cool." Yeah, cause MTV would so send you to the ghetto for vacation anyhow. They are told that the house fits fourteen, so they all can invite one guest. The catch? The guest has to be one of the casting finalists. Attention kids who didn't quite make it, here's your chance to shine.

Coral tells Kevin, "We're going to the Hamptons!" Kevin says, "Oh, wow." This is Kevin excited girls. Keep that in the back of your heads. Malik is psyched because Jisela was going to come to visit that week anyhow, now she can be his guest. Nicole feels the same way because Bobby was coming that weekend too. Hold up. Does anyone else remember Bobby from the casting special? That's right. Cause he wasn't there.

MALIK'S FRO IS GONE!! Malik is wearing braids as he pulls a Lenny Kravitz, strolling into the airport to pick up his lady J. He looks good. But more importantly, he knows he looks good. Malik is 35 minutes late, no doubt because he was working on the finishing touches of his new hairstyle. Jisela explains, "When I see Malik I go from being heated mad to super duper happy." Don't we all?

Malik voiceovers, "I'm definitely romantic. I like being cute and sweet." Cut to Jisela saying, "You know like between you and me (and the rest of the world) I'm not one of those romantic types of girls. I don't know if you could tell." Malik, sporting his love goggles, giggles and dismisses Jisela's dead on declaration. Malik voiceovers, "I think I've always been ready to have a girlfriend while Jisela states, "I think marriage would give me a heart attack." She goes on to explain how she wants a boyfriend, but she doesn't want the baggage. Uh oh. Sounds like trouble in paradise.

"If you don't plan on wearing a bikini, what you need bikini wax for?" Coral says coyly. Nicole, completely missing Coral's sarcasm, says, "Just to look nice." Coral goes on, "Bobby's coming back to tease Nicole a little bit more. I've stopped trying to figure it out." Which part? The fact that Bobby is coming back to visit, or the fact that Nicole is so in to the dude to begin with?

Jisela walks into the house like she just saw a ghost and announces that her and Malik went to "that psychic chick." Corals ears perk up, "What, did she read your cards?" Malik and Jisela explain they had their palms read. This disgusts Coral who says, "See, I don't do palms, I do tarot cards," pronouncing the word tarot in a way I'm sure no one who "does tarot cards" ever has before.

Malik is in love. You can tell from the way he talks and looks when as he talks about Jisela, but the real clincher is watching Jisela come at Malik with a pair of tweezers, ready to redecorate. If that's not love I don't know what is. Oh wait, it's not love, that's just pathetic.

Enter people you barely knew like Patrice, Jenn and Vanessa. Glad to see you again? Bobby has arrived too, and Nicole says, "I hope Bobby tells me that he likes me as much as I like him, but that's not gonna happen so let me stop dreaming."

Jisela is amazed. "I never thought in a million years that Blair was going to be here. Him being there was just like, 'whoa.'" I don't get it. Never in a million years? I could understand you saying about that say, Bobby, but it ain't like Blair wasn't on the same show you were on. In fact, he lasted the whole season. I'm also lost on the deep connection Blair and Jisela apparently have. But not long after Blair's arrival I become convinced that this is indeed not the Blair from the casting special and Road Rules that we have come to know and love. No, this is Blair's evil twin, put there to cause a ruckus and do things like run around naked for no apparent reason.

Blair tries to break down his and Jisela's relationship, "Me and Jisela met a long time ago and I had a girlfriend and we just always wanted to have sex and I had a girlfriend (right, got it) and I don't anymore, so that will be more to come." See what I mean? Who are you and what have you done with Blair the teddy bear?

Jisela tells Blair the touching story of how her and Malik came to pass. "It all began at the strip club where we both got lap dances," says Jisela. Malik lovingly leaned over and whispered, "Id rather it be you on top of me. And we ended up like kissing and we ended up like sleeping together." Doesn't that just put a tear in your eye? Blair comes back with, "Like, I knew you were easy, but I didn't know you were THAT easy." They both laugh.

Blair decides he wants to play the fictional game of strip pool. "Jisela, that way you have an excuse to get naked," states Blair. I am so sure that hot-blooded Jisela is finally not gonna let one slide, but instead she voiceovers, "I guess I forgot how funny he was." Umm, ok. "Jisela's a free spirit and she doesn't want to be tied down by anybody," rants Blair, the unauthorized authority on all things Jisela. Don't be so sure Blair. I mean she may not want to be tied down to one man, but she might enjoy the tied part all the same.

Everyone's drinking, bumping, grinding and even occasionally mooning while Nicole and Bobby are having their own private party. Nicole touches Bobby's stomach and says, "Whoa, that's a six pack, can I wash my clothes on that?" OH NO YOU DIDN"T JUST SAY THAT! Nicole also points out that Bobby's zipper is open to which he replies flirtatiously, "Easy access." Nicole says, "It's like putting a candy bar in front of a starving person's face."

Lori, Kevin, Jisela (of course) are in the orgy room err, I mean the confessional. Lori explains that they are having a, "pre-Hamptons spin the bottle kind of thing." Next thing I know there are hook ups right and left. Lori and Jisela. Lori and Kevin. Kevin and Jisela. Jisela and Blair. Blair stands in the shadows all Larry Flynt, directing what's going down. Suddenly it's like a bad scene out of Boogie Nights. Jisela gives Kev props for his kissing style. They all say they feel bad for Malik but obviously not THAT bad.

The morning after Jisela struts in the bedroom and playfully kisses Mike as Malik listens to his music and tries to pretend he doesn't care. Malik admits that Jisela had warned him that he would, "See a side of her he might not like."

Jisela tells Blair she feels weird around Malik now. Blair tells Jisela it's her own fault. Blair assesses the situation, "Everybody was already attracted to everybody for the most part before we came here-- it makes me realize we're young and nobody's dating anybody." Tell that to Malik my friend. Tell that to Malik.

On the bus ride to the Hamptons Nicole and Bobby are like day while Jisela and Malik are like night. Nicole says, "It's all about Bobby this weekend. I mean I'll see my roommates when I get back to New York."

Mike thinks it's great that everyone's getting along and having fun, which only further proves the point that Mike is always somehow a few steps behind everyone else. Playful banter is exchanged, "Mike seductively says, "You need a hot dog, I got a hot dog." Malik tries to play too, "You need a garden burger, I got a garden burger." Oh boy. I can just smell that joke bombing from here.

Malik confesses to Kevin that he does really want a commitment. Of course he does, because he feels like Jisela is the girl he wants. Kevin lets Malik know that Jisela's point of view is to just have fun. Kevin says he feels bad for Malik as we see a shot of Jisela hooking up with yet ANOTHER chick.

Jisela explains that she is upset with Kevin because, "He's all cool with what's going on, but then he wants to go clear the air with Malik." I gotta take Jisela's side on this one. I mean Kevin sure as hell wasn't respecting Malik's feelings when put his tongue down Jisela's throat.

Jisela tries to tell Malik who she kissed and why she kissed them and basically justify her actions, but I think even she knows deep down that she sounded like an ass. "Just because you kiss people does not mean you go to bed with them," exclaims Jisela. Malik tells her it's all cool and he even says it in a cool way, but Jisela says he's making her feel "really, really terrible." "Waiter I'll have the guilty conscience platter with a side of Jisela. To go."

Janet Branagan is a freelance writer and pop culture lover from New Jersey.

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