The other male oriented convo involves their bosses, Adam and Devin. The girls play a round of "Adam or Devin, Who Would You Choose?" Hmm...how about neither? As the girl talk continues, Mike enters the room. The ladies pounce, "Where's your girlfriend?" to which young Mike replies, "Which one?" Way to go Rico Suave.

Mike chalks up the girls' behavior to pure jealousy and I have to say that I agree. But he thinks the girls are jealous because he just returned from a Knicks game with Devin. Which part should they be the most envious of? The fact that he got to go to the game? That he got to hang with the "luscious" Devin? OR can it be because he is getting some while they are getting none? DING! DING! DING!

Meanwhile the girls all insist independently that they are not jealous of the guys because they don't want to be kiss asses on the Arista front. Lori says, "Being up a person's butt is not like a mutual relationship at all." Lori should put some butter on those words and eat them.

Nicole is talking about some guy she met who she's interested in. Lori once again, puts in her two cents, "If I were you I'd call one more time. I always call three times." And if I were YOU (this message is to Nicole), I wouldn't listen to Lori when it comes to this stuff because we've all seen her track record thus far.

Nicole talks about the stuff you do when you don't have dates, like reading lots of romance books. Finally, she cooks up a game plan. "We should make it a mission. In the next...by the end of April, we have at least all gone on one date." Now I don't know what month it was when she called this mission, but ya gotta love how her strict wording changed mid sentence once she realized what she was promising. Rachel reiterates the plan, "We make a paact," and Lori does almost the same, "We have to make a pact." The difference? Well, Lori just wanted to translate for those of you at home who are still having a bit of trouble understanding Rachel speak. It seems 'paact' and 'pact' is indeed the same word.

Lori and Coral are walking down the street and pass Prince William. Ok, not really, but let's just call him that for fun. Coral dares Lori to say something to him (in light of their new pact and all), and tells her to go because he's "looking at her." Yeah, and I'm so sure that the big boom and camera crew she has following her around in broad daylight has NOTHING to do with his interest. Lori approaches who turns out to be Jerry the Doorman at an "Upscale Jewelry Store." I don't know why MTV bothered with the secrecy only to reveal the actual name of the store (it's Harry Winston) minutes later. I also don't know why he had to be named Jerry. I don't think this name suits him. I like Prince William better. Anyway, Lori moseys on over and says something lame like, I see you all the time, wanted to say hi garbage. He seems mildly interested, emphasis on mildly.

RUN DMC IS IN 'DA HOUSE!!! Kevin reveals just how far back his Run DMC devotion goes, "I've been a fan of Run DMC ever since they did "Walk This Way" with Aerosmith." You play that funky music white boy! Oh, and while your at it, I dare you to name just one other song by the guys. Any one will do. I'm waiting.

The boys all get autographed Adidas sneakers and are in their glory. Who can blame them? Mike adds the sneaks to his growing shrine to Arista in his bedroom. The girls get a look at the collection and practically cheer with glee that they have something new about Mike to make fun of. So the girls make a sign that says, "Arista, Kiss Ass and Proud" and hang it above Mike's bed. HILARIOUS. No really. Ok, not really.

Mike comes back to the house with his latest lady friend, Morgan and sees the sign. It seems as if he doesn't say anything right then and there but with MTV editing, one never knows. Lori in the meantime, is on day two with the Prince. This time she stops by and brings Rachel to show him off. She practically screams, "Look at what I found!!!" As if he were a hidden treasure in the bottom of a box of Cocoa Krispies. After they meet, the girls walk away gushing about how perfect he is. Well, except for his mouth. It's a little too small. (their words, not mine.)

Slo-mo shot of Lori's arrival to see Jerry William yet again. This time though she wants to look hot and sophisticated because he is going to give her the grand tour...of the store silly! Get your minds out of the gutter! Anywho, she gets there and Jerry breaks the bad news that they have to put off the tour till tomorrow. Lori is obviously bummed (what girl wouldn't be after hemming and hawing and primping and prepping?) but she says OK. You have to take note of the lobby of Harry Winston's in this shot. It is almost entirely full of curious Harry Winston employees. Makes you wonder who or what would really be on display during this so-called tour.

In the midst of her post Jerry outing speech, Lori bursts out, "I saw Eric Stoltz today!" And my mentioning this is probably just as random as her saying it in the first place. So, anyway, Lori is nervous but so far, she seems like the only one with a legit lead. Nicole seems like the typical jealous girl when she asked if Lori knows if he has a girlfriend. Lori of course, says no and Nicole laughs almost as if to say, "silly, silly naive girl!" but instead mumbles something about how that's the first thing you do. Dude, she didn't even get inside the freaking building. Even I have to go with Lori's call on this one.

Mike and Rachel are in the kitchen in total silence. Well, except for Rachel's incessant and deafening munching. Mike finally musters the surefire conversation starter; "It's hot in here." That quickly segues in to what he really wants to know, "Who wrote the poster?" Rachel looks at him innocently (the only look the girl has really) at first and then gives Lori up. Kevin goes back and tells the girls (minus Rachel) what she said and how she told Mike it wasn't her, but Lori. Mike figures out that Rachel is easy to manipulate (nah, really?) and that she goes with the flow. She finally fesses up to having some involvement but come on; this is Mike we are talking about here. I don't even think the boy is capable of holding a grudge if he tried. So, Rachel goes back to the house and takes down the poster and with it, the importance of this stupid subplot.

Lori is on her way to Winston William's yet again. (She will get in Goddamnit!) This time she decides, heck with it, and wears a tank top and khakis. Upon entering the store I catch Willy taking a quick look at her ass too, don't think that one escaped me. Once inside Lori realizes that she's way under dressed. Once inside I realize that this segment is starting to resemble one of those never in a million years, only in cheesy romantic comedy scenarios.

So Lori (safely this time I might add) assumes that all systems are a go with Brit-like boy. She asks him to hang that night and he says he can't. But it's the way he says he can't. It's not like a, "oh man, I'd like to, but I'm busy," instead it is a, "no I can't and never, ever will be able to." Turns out the latter is closer to being true once royalty in training reveals that he is practically a married man. Hmm...conscious of the cameras finally, are we? I meanwhile, feel bad for Lori. It's awkward enough being shot down in front of the actual person much less the entire viewing public. Not to mention the endless repeats where that moment will be re aired and compromised, and discussed and analyzed over coffee for at a least a few months to come...but I digress.

Lori scampers off, cigarette in hand, consoling herself aloud on the streets of New York. Well, at least one good thing came out of this. Now she looks like a true New Yorker! At home, Lori says she has decided to abandon her search. The girls meanwhile decide that is why he was only the doorman. Yeah, because I see THAT connection!

Janet Branagan is a freelance writer and pop culture addict from New Jersey.

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