Free Web Hosting by Netfirms
Web Hosting by Netfirms | Free Domain Names by Netfirms

Originally Posted: 12/3/99 - Revised 4/14/01

Beggars and Choosers
by Del Harvey

Why are all the good shows on cable?


On The Box
Prime Time
Cable
Opinion
Film Monthly
Video/DVD

fm sound
Letters
Links
Write For Us!

Judging by the latest films and TV shows, there would seem to be a bit of interest in the mediaThe Cast industry right now. Universal Pictures offered up a comedic view of the tribulations of filmmaking in Bowfinger, starring Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy. Fox was trying to get their new series Action off the ground, about a low-budget motion picture company with a strong cast in Jay Mohr and Illeana Douglas, but poor execution. And Showtime had been running a quite good series called Beggars and Choosers on Saturday nights, all about a television network (LGT - Ludden Global Network) that was consistently last in the ratings. Their motto: "The best television network you're not watching."Kerwin as Rob Malone

The show starred Brian Kerwin as Rob Malone, President of LGT, an "idealistic Yale alumn aspires to improve the quality of television, but spends most of his time putting out fires, making deals and trying to keep from being stabbed in the back."

Kerwin was a joy to watch, because he played the character with such universal appeal that any of us could relate to the crazy situations he'd find himself in. In the first episode Malone was called to New York by the owner of LGT and put on the spot to boost the ratings - or else. As if that weren't enough, the owner came to L.A. for a visit and wanted Malone Tuc Watkins as Malcolm Laffleyto drum up some female companionship for him.

Back in L.A., Malone tried to get his staff fired up to dream up some new ways of boosting the ratings. He passed the task of finding a female for Mr. Luden on to Malcolm Laffley (Tuc Watkins), the network's Vice President of Talent Relations, a hunk, and a closet gay. Laffley soon got into a sexual harrassment lawsuit by a spiteful actress whose suggestive audition was rebuffed by the uninterested Laffley. She threatened a $25 million lawsuit. And the female companion that Laffley came up with turned out to be a transvestite hooker, and when Luden discovers this he keeled over from heart attack.

Stuart Margolin as Kendal GiffordLuden's daughter Lydia (Carol Kane) took ownership duties while her Daddy was wheelchair bound. Speaking for her father, she told Malone to ignore the sponsors and other networks who were pressuring LGT to pull their highest-rated series, "The Mountainmen," directed by hot-headed Kendal Gifford (Stuart Margolin). Gifford's most recent episode depicted the mass burning of coveted consumer goods, which sparked a furor among outraged advertisers and panicked Wall Street and their competing networks.

Provenza as Parker MeridianAlso in the mix were Malone's daughter Audrey, who has just moved in with one of the network's big comedy stars, Parker Meridian (Paul Provenza). Meridian's agent is Brad Advail (William McNamara), a smarmy, greedy, underhanded snake, and the bane of Malone's existence. He lead Meridian by the nose through the latest round of contract negotiations, attempting to take LGT for all their worth. Advail was having kinky phone sex with LGT's Vice President of Development, Lori Volpone (Charlotte Ross). She was addicted to power, phone sex, and her cell phone.

They just finished the second season, and there were some big changes around LGT. Beau Bridges had taken over as the new owner, a Zen-living, modern age techno-geek with all the right moves. But would his "new" thinking change the direction of the show forever? And were the Luden's really gone? We'll never know, and that's a shame.

Each episode just got better and better, and I had declared this my second favorite weekly TV series (right behind "The Sopranos"). Beggars and Choosers was laugh-out-loud funny, and there aren't many TV sitcoms that can claim that honor these days. Check it out, if it comes back anytime soon. Or rent the videos when they come out.

Del Harvey, founder of FM, is a veteran of The Walt Disney Company, Lucasfilm, and The Directors Guild Of America.

Got a problem? Email Jon at filmmonthly@hotmail.com